I don't know whether to be scared or... no, I'm definitely scared.

John (on his brand spanking new site):

If anyone knows phil, they know that phil is about as close as you can get in reality to mango from saturday night live. You know, the dude that every guy wanted to bone? well phils like that, but except for every man wanting to bone him, we just want to splooge on his british face. like, saying shit like, "yeah! take that churchill!" and "yeah, eat this einstein!" i dont know where the einstein part came from, you say stupid shit as you ejaculate onto another mans face, you know?