Rutville; Population:You

It's one of those days.

I finally feel human after the last 3 days of shittyness, and I'm behind on everything.
But I really can't be bothered.

I have all these grand schemes and ideas in my head, yet they never ever come out right.
Everything's just grey and numb.
I can't quite do what I want to do, and what I actually do do looks substandard.
And it just saps the will out of me.

I enjoy doing things, I'm not unhappy.
I just can't engage in anything that I can excell at. Or make a profit from.

I'm happy just sitting in my armchair and falling asleep.
I'm happy just clicking refresh on a browser window for a few hours.

Yet there's shit million and one things I know I'm putting off.
I want to do them, I really truly do want to do them, but when I do them and fail it just sends me spiralling backwards. It crushes my spirit so much that I just can't be bothered.

I'm rambling now, repeating my words that weren't exactly original or interesting in the first place.

Fuck knows, maybe it's better to just fail without putting in effort, than to try my hardest and fuck up at the last hurdle.

There's always Christmas shopping to take my mind off it.