This is Dave

Dave is a fucking great friend and one hell of a fucking talented son of a bitch.
And hard working with it too.
Check out his new blog Killa Bunnies to see his work unfold before your eyes.

1st rule of being a henchman

Dont hide behind a crate of ammunition and some oil drums when trying to shoot the good guy.
- Dave

Hell, we've all had nights like this, right?

"So, a friend of mine got hit in the head with a machete last night and I fell asleep with an American flag."

Hardcore.
Matt mate... I salute you.

How can somewhere so shitty be so photogenic?

Fucking Money.

I want these.

Fucking imports.

Let's say fuck a few more times for the sake of it.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Fuck desensitization.

Current Song: Kenickie - I would Fix You
I really don't list enough, considering I've always got music playing.

I'm watching you...

What the fuck else am I meant to do at 4.30am?

It begins, like most things, with an action.
However the action goes unnoticed.
All that is noticed is the sound.
The sharp piercing shrill that rings and echoes through the eardrum.
Like long, lanky fingernails being drawn down a blackboard, etching lines into the material that will be there forever, no matter how many attempts are made to cover it up.
The sound came from nowhere and as suddenly as it began it stops.
Something has changed, but exactly what remains unclear.
The hairs on the back of necks all around are stood up.
Fear is present.
Inner and outer.
Seen and unseen.
Panic sets in.
The staccatto beat of a quickening heart is the only sound filling an otherwise silent room.
The accoustics make each beat seem like a giant footstep, booming away, following endlessly.
Nothing happens.
The mind wanders.
The fear has set in and the worst is given thought.
Thought makes it reality.
If it can be thought of, it can happen.
Mental torment given physical flesh.
A shadow moves in the corner of an eye.
The fire of fear is stoked.
The reality is irrelevant.
Whatever the actual thing was has taken second stage to what it could have been.
To what it is in the dark recesses of your mind.
That space locked away from childhood.
'The bad place.'
You're not a child anymore.
These things shouldn't still haunt you.
But they do.
And you have no-one else to blame.
As you lie there, your heart pounds.
Everything goes through your mind at once.
Every possible thought, every possible outcome.
Everything happens so fast that you can't make sense of it.
Your head starts spinning.
You notice sweat dripping from your forehead.
Drops of water falling to the floor in slow motion, each drop impacting with what seems like the force of a sonic boom.
And then everything is still.
Everything slows down.
The franticness ceases, one thought at a time.
Your heartbeat returns to normal.
You wipe your brow and sit, peacefully.
The alarm clock sounds again and everything makes sense.

Just a thought

Do people that attend Alcoholics Anonymous collect a certificate when they finish their course?

If so, that'd be a pretty funky thing to own alongside a degree etc.

I may have to look into this.

Homeward Bound

And people wonder why men are perverts?

The Guy Game coming soon to pc's everywhere...

Trivia meets a drinking game meets Girls Gone Wild in this M-rated game from Top Heavy Studios.

I would post screenshots, but I have some taste left in me.

Fight Club:The Game, all is forgiven.

Damn... my words are powerless...

5ives:

Five cool words I've been having trouble working into a normal sentence
trepanation
illiquid
defenestration
antediluvian
kopophobia

Preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty colours.

I noticed something a few weeks back.
Something which was apparantly obvious to everyone but me.

I have a thing for coloured lights.

I'm like a magpie with shiny objects.

In my room alone, I have a red lightbulb in the ceiling, a yellow lamp to my right, a green lava lamp to the right of that, and a string of fairy lights around the desk which are always on.

Add to that, the fact that my blind is constantly drawn over my window means that no natural light gets into my room.

This all has no reason or anything, it's just a musing.

Go visit the galleries to the left though, more pretty things in there. :D

It's a synch...

A few days ago Mike was talking about waking from nightmares, when he normally doesn't suffer from them.
Lo and behold, last night I really slept badly and too suffered from nightmares.
Which is something I haven't done in like 20 years.

It got me thinking about things falling into synch.

When I was working in retail, there was a high female percentage of working staff, and there got to a point were these women, who worked together in close confinement on a regular basis started to have their periods in synchronicity.

I'm sure it's happened elsewhere, there are probably scientific shit behind it, I'm far too lazy to check.

Then there's the partner/best friend thing;
If you spend enough time with someone you start to pick up their train of thought, and you can often tell wht they're thinking and end their sentences, that sort of thing.
I'm sure we've all experienced it.

Now I'm not saying it's anything scientific, it's probably purely coincedental, but I wonder if there's something in the event.
If someone you can talk to a lot, yet have no physical contact with, and their experiences effect yours.
If you're both having a shitty time for the same reasons, if you can both fall into the same mental anguish.

*shrugs*

Y'know what was the only good thing about...

Batman & Robin?





Underworld's Moaner.
End of.

More words.

Munchkin
Philanderer
Kamikaze
Erogenous
Nincompoop
Smorgasboard
Veranda
Marigolds

I'll stop there for fear of this turning into a section for spiders.

Plinth still wins as greatest word ever though.

Ever have one of those days?

Words not used enough in modern society Part one.

Spiffy/Spiffing
Plinth
Ne'er-do-wells
Robust
Chim-chimminy-chim-chimminy-chim-chim-cha-roo
Free money

More to come one day.

Bell ends of the day

And no, it's not Raygun.
Well, it was/is/ever shall be, but I'm not going into details.

Instead:

http://www.bravenewworldcomics.com/news/detail.aspx?NewsId=10

Wankers...

My flag is at half mast.

Shadows board of old, I salute thee.

More fucked up animation from around the www...

And no, not from me.

If you liked the monkeymofo link, or the rathergood kittens, this should make you laugh.

Props to Peter for the linkage.

Love Actually

Right..

I'll start off by saying, I haven't seen Four Weddings and a Funeral.
I haven't seen Notting Hill.
I haven't seen The Full Monty.

British 'chick flick' lovey dovey comedys don't usual get bothered with, unless they happen to be on the tv and I can't be arsed to roll over onto the remote.

With Love Actually, it tended to have a lot of the current English luvvies in it, the men of the moment acting wise, so I gave it a go.

I finally got to and I'm so fucking glad that I did.

This fim was exactly what I needed at the moment.
A nice welcome change from my usual viewings.

Very few films have made me laugh out loud at the cinema; Jackass and Home Alone being the only two I can think of, off hand which gives you the scope of my public laughter.

Yet this had me pissing myself.
The interwoven, almost anthology-esque storylines worked really well, and the film was a very nice mix of humour, romance and tragedy.

For anyone that's ever been a victim of unrequited love, this film will surely hit home.

I'm not sure I'd buy it on dvd, but who knows.
I'd definitely recommend watching it though.

Who am I?

Fuck knows, but at this very moment, I think I'm made out of snot.
Yup, it's that time of the year.

On a sort of brighter note, we're predicted heavy snow for Tuesday onwards.. should be fun. Possibly.
I'm supposed to be going back 'dahn saff to me manar' on Wednesday.
Tickets are all booked, so hopefully that won't fuck things up.

Other than that, I've got a bit more shit to say, which dependant on how your view this thing, you may have just read.

Because it needed to be saved for prosperity:

It's like fucking a brunette and spending the whole time talking about how blondes are better in bed and how you'd rather be with a blonde right now and that you wish she were a blonde.

In otherwords children, to quote Holly from Red Dwarf: Appreciate what you've got because basically I'm fantastic.

This is Jeremy

Check out his blog if you're ever bored.
He's one crazy motherfucker, and one talented photographer.

And he tells a mean story about having a dancing competition with MC Hammer.
It's all about the robot, man.

On the subject of "Hulk Hands"

Taken from the Bendis Board:

DeluxeVoltron wrote:
i put them on at wal mart (dont worry i was there as a terrorist, not a consumer) and punched this random chubby 12 yr old in the back of the head yelling "Hulk says lose weight!" he ran away and i was asked to leave. it was stellar.

Have you ever....

... watched a clock for an hour?

Just sat and watched the second, minute and hour hands rotate round, for a whole 60 minutes?

Done nothing else but stare at it, and listen to the ticking?

Try it.
I have today.

Today I have been mostly....

"discombobulated"

See, I said I'd steal it.

Now read the entry below.

Sunday Service

Right....

I apologise in advance, for this is something I don't normally do.

I'm in no way trying to force my opinion on anyone, but if you're reading this (and I thank you so much for doing so) please continue till the end;

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on

'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone

Right...

I am god here.
This little piece of the world wide web is mine.
I have created all this.
All this hyper text transfer protocal has been written by my fair hands.
Therefore this is all my word.

Now stop for two minutes.
Take two minutes to think about your life.
Think of one thing that you're happy about.
One thing, no matter how small.
Anything, just as long as it makes you feel good.
Even if just for a second.

Now take that thing.
Take that good feeling, and think about something.
Think about something you've always wanted to do.
Think about that one thing you've never had the courage of convition to do, and do it for me.

Put yourself first for once and do it.

Make yourself happy while you can.

For life isn't always a happy ending.
And you need to make yourself happy.

And I thank you.

Oh yeah.............

Hurmph.

Well... it's been one of those days.

The day started on a bit of low; it turned out that something I'd promised to someone couldn't be done.
I fucking hate the fact that I've let them down.
That pretty much set the day for me.

I went to the cash machine, put my pin in, put the amount I wanted in, took my card and walked off.
Without the cash.

Luckily I realised what I'd done and got to the note just as it was being sucked back in.

I then walked the wrong way to Uni.
Yup... Uni, the place I've walked to most days a week for the last 2 and a half years, down the same route.
Heh, I was heading towards the pub, I think.
Nice to see where my mindset automatically set into.

The day at uni was a bit blah as well.
I managed to hand in all my work from the last 12 weeks a day early, while everyone else is struggling to get it finished.
It doesn't exactly help my confidence with it.

Ahh well..

Truer words were never spoken...

Hmm

Ok, so I managed to break my bed earlier today.
Broke clean through a metal screw.

Unfortuanately, I did it alone. :|

When Typo's Attack! #1

The Amazing Soider-Man.

When Peter Parker gets bitten by a radioactive apple he turns into..... a Devonshire brewer!

Something I don't think Stan Lee'll be presenting ;)

But might make for a photoshop at some point in the future.....

It may not be art...

...but who gives a shit, I made it, I like it ;)

the.virus.has.been.unleashed

information.to.follow

Y'know what....

I'm fucking going proactive.

Lately I've been getting comments and encouragement about my paintings and ideas and shit, mainly through the use of this site, and through my general whoring ability.
While I may not be a Picasso, I enjoy it.

I've had comments and suggestions about the possibility of me writing a comic, or at least the notion that it wouldn't be completely impossible if I put my mind to it, and whilst every other little scrote on the planet seems to be looking at the possibility of independant publishing*koff*anthologies*koff*, I've decided that I fucking well can put my mind to it.

I've got my baby lined up for when I finish my degree.
That's jotted out, ready for me to explode in the summer.
Finding an artist will be trickier.

But, I'm gonna start brushing up on some painted sequentials over the next few weeks methinks.
Just one/two page things in a totally fucked up Mack/Sienckiewicz on ecstasy kinda way...

The gauntlet has been laid down.

Just another unmanic Sunday...

Soundtrack for this post:
Shades Of Rhythm - The Sounds Of Eden
Prodigy - Out Of Space

He's kicking it old skool!

I managed to get what little work I planned to do done, so I managed to engage in yet more conversation with Dave.

Which is always fucking good.

I'm convinced the man is like my childhood soulmate.

The conversation veered from sitcoms to how to beat a breathaliser test to music to Ang Lee to Saturday morning television.

From Transformers (Mike, you will love this man) to Zoids, from Ewoks, Droids and Starcom (anyone else remember the Dairylea send off videos?) to Visonaries, from the Turtles to GI Joe.

As (some) American's would say "Fuckin' A!!!!!!"

This is your life... and it's ending one day at a time.

Well...

In five days I'll have finished this semester at uni.
Which means two weeks off (which will probably be spent doing all the washing and tidying I've put off whilst getting work done over the last few months), and then back for 12 more weeks.
And then that's it.

It's creeping up closer and closer.

My work is suprisingly done.

All I've got to do is some last minute editing, and then the burning of cd's and/or putting onto VHS.

It's strange that I'm not in some mad ass rush.

Which makes me think that I'm going to fail.
I'm sure that it shouldn't be this easy.

As ever with my work, I'm pleased with the concept, but some of the visuals aren't completely up to scratch.

I know this is starting to sound like a broken record, but it helps.
The more I vent about it, the more likely I am to do something about it.

I've got a stack of Gamecube games that are waiting to be played;
Zelda needs finishing from the summer.
Bomberman Generations and Wolverine's Revenge need more playtime.
Megaman Network Transmission, Resident Evil Zero and Metroid Prime I haven't even had time to touch.

I've been playing Mario Kart:Double Dash amongst renders. It's something to crack on with for 5 minutes at a time whilst my pc's chugging away, that doesn't take too much intelligence.
I'm looking at getting the broadband adapter soon, so it shluld be a laugh if that happens.

Music wise... I'm at a lull.
The christmas period has slowed down the distribution of vinyl, but hopefully there should be some nice slabs of plastic coming out soon.
Cd wise, the market's dry as ever.
If anyone has any suggestions of new music for me, drop us a line.

Dvd's, I've almost finished watching Season One of The Shield again. Damn good stuff as ever.
I've got Season One of Twin Peaks to go next.

TV.. well there's fuck all ever on. The least said the better.

Comics... Paradigm's officially on a year's hiatus, so that's one highlight gone, Shadows has been effectively cancelled as of #4 so that's gone too.
I'm not very upbeat at the moment.
Weapon X continues to interest and amuse me, Ultimates when it comes out.
Ultimate Fantastic Four #1 seemed a bit average to be fair. Not even Bendis, Millar and Kubert can make the FF interesting for me, it seems.
Wanted #1 was an alright read, partly for JG Jones' amazing art, so I'll follow that for it's length.
Kabuki hits next month, and on a hopefully bright side Alpha Flight volume 3 in March. My digits are crossed.

I haven't read a book since I finished work in October.
As with other stuff at the moment, I haven't got time to give anything much concentration other than work. I can get quick snatches in here and there, as with the posting on here, but I can't really read like that.
I plan to try and rectify this though.
Neal Stephenson's Quicksilver is looking a distinct possibility at the moment....

And this is pretty much, my life.

The human race

We're all one big cycle of fucked up social commentary.

My quote for the day.

Worst book title ever?

U decide!

Pirates Of The Carribbean

Straight from the mouth, err.. fingers, of the man known only as 'BodogSivana'

It felt like it wasn't sure if it wanted to be serious or funny...so it was too serious to be funny...but too funny to be serious. It's like Disney got a hold of a movie sccript that was creepy and serious and said "hey, we have a pirate ride...let's name it after the ride and put some comedy in...take out some of the gruesome bits...and make it."

Pretty apt, I thought...

It's about music.

The dance floor is full.
X hundred like minded people fill the room, packed together like a field of wheat, all moving as one.
There's no predjudice here. No racism, no sexism, no ageism, it doesn't matter if this is your first time or your five hundreth, everyone is equal, here for the same reason, to have a good time.
There's no correct way of dancing, you can shed all your inhibitions and dance however you want without fear of being laughed at. For once in your life you are truly free.
You look around, the whole room is smiling.
The person next to you shakes your hand. You've never met them before, and you'll probably never see them again, but in that one moment they're you're oldest and bestest friend and you shake like you've never shook before.
You can hear those first beats of your current favourite tune being mixed in, you suddenly find that extra 10% of energy from somewhere.
The sweat pours down your face as you pay homage to the dj through the medium of movement.
This is it.
This is what life is all about.
This moment right now.
The lights come up, and it's over. Nine hours have flown by. You step outside and it's light again. You feel the cold morning wind hit your face, as you hop down the road, still humming THAT tune.

Something I wrote a few years ago and have just re-found
Some of you may have seen it, but others haven't. :D

And something else to creep people out....

No, not me this time...



It follows you round the room, doesn't it?

An angle no-one wants to see....

The quality's been reduced, so it's a bit fuzzy... but I really like the photo.
I look shit in it though.....
The sky was perfectly clear and bright. And the clarity of my eyeball works against it.
Taken by myself, with my digital camera back in the summer.

Fuck The New Millenium! Err... plus a few years...

Dependant on your definition/choice of when it started.

I've noticed so far this year that everyone I've seen and spoken to is rather... well "blah."

No one's upbeat, yet they're not totally depressed and devastated.
They're just numb.

Myself included.

The last few days have been odd.
I'm working my arse off, and starting to get results.
Yet I'm not excited by it.
It's all just "blah."

I need a really big event to change things methinks.

The trip to Amsterdam for New Years should have been that big event, but I suppose with having to come back and do two weeks more work after it was on my mind the whole time.

I dunno....

Maybe karma is just a bitch and everyone's being fucked over emotionally this year.

Or it could be summit to do with sunspots and all that astrology stuff.

Or not.

*shrugs*

The internet is going to be a worser place for it..

Mike... I salute you.
Keep in touch sunshine, and take care of yerself.

This just in...

Monkey Mofo

Fucking Hilarious.

Watch it.
With speakers turned on.
Now.

On the way to the 'dam..

A new day, a new dawn, a new lining of fur on my tongue.

Last night after I'd completed my self set work quota for the day, I ended up engaging in some alcohol consumption and fuelled conversation with Dave, which turned into a really cool evening.

We discussed everything from David Cronenberg to Asia Carrerra (Watch the hits I'll get from that from google now) to the mystery of women, and a whole load of shit in between.

It was a nice relaxing night, going into the small hours of the morning.
No deep and meaningfuls, no putting the world to rights, no far out far-fetched crazy scheming, just general chitchatting.

I came up with something profound to type here about it all, and about life in general.
At least I think I did anyway, it might possibly have been a dream.
And it's not alcoholic forgetfulness before you say it :P

For now, the only part I remember is Britney Spears.

By now most have you have probably heard about her wedding to childhood friend Jason Alexander(And no, no Seinfeld jokes, they've been killed to death already).

And by wedding I mean the equivalent of standing in speakers corner naked, handing out £50 notes and screaming "GIVE ME ATTENTION NOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!" at the top of her ever so annoying voice.

Apparantly she's having it annulled now.

Shit, who'da thought...

Hmm...

Probably not the best representation of my holiday but definitely the funniest: